(cw grief) i miss you, Izziah <3
one year ago, my best friend died.
more accurately, my unofficial twin brother died a year ago. we were born just weeks apart and we always had eachother.
our moms were both pregnant around the same time, so they, along with some other friends lived together for a few years to help eachother figure out the complexities of what parenting would turn out to be. altho i obviously dont remember the day to day goings on, enough of it has been communicated via stories and just the positive impact that those years left on my mom and the way she raised me.
growing up, i was undiagnosed autistic and had immense difficulty forming any kind of connections with other kids. i, perhaps unfairly, leaned on my mom to help me make friends for a lot my childhood. it being the case that i knew izziah since the day he was born and i wasn't yet old enough to form coherent thoughts, our friendship always meant the world to me.
after those first few years, we moved apart, but still close enough that we got too see each other a few times a year. there was never a time where we werent mutually excstatic to see eachother. regardless of how old we were, i was sure to get a big bear hug from him with a running start. Izziah loved people and being his friend is something i'll cherish forever.
the best memory i have with him is from one of the summers i spent at my dad's house after moving to ithaca new york from dayton ohio; i must have been like 13. it was 2010 and his mom, (who has always been more of an aunt to me than simply a family friend) drove us into town one day. she went to work while the two of us went exploring. being the awkward kid i was, exploring the town with a friend was not an experience i had had up to this point. it was liberating and i felt welcome and appreciated. i never felt judged by izziah. around that time i had a noticable stammer, as well as other characteristics that made it hard to be in community with other kids, but with izziah, it was like he just saw me and loved me regardless. that day we ran around downtown athens ohio and i felt free.
i really miss him. i've not rly gotten to 'acceptance' yet. he'd have turned 27 a couple months ago now. he died doing what he loved, doing some dangerous shit for that sweet sweet hit of adrenaline. now i've promised my loved ones i'll not get into motorcycles. dude lived on the edge like no one else i've known. he was my brother, and he was such to many others. i fucking miss you, Izziah. I love you and i miss you.
izziah left, me right
its both of ours' 9th birthday party and my cake says 'Rowan loves' and then pohatu mata's mask is drawn in icing under the lettering. i wouldnt love bionicles like i do if i didn't grow up with izziah